Relapse

Recovery isn’t in my vocabulary lately. Today I feel as if I had hit rock bottom. I felt the cold depth of solitude when I told myself that eating a string cheese, low fat, was considered a binge. It’s times like these when you realize the new longitudes of low’s you have reached. I need help. I need rehab and I was offered a trip to Timberline Knolls in IL for 35 days and I turned it down because I’m way too scared to gain the weight. I regret it now more than ever. I just want to be strong and stay strong. I want my impulsive notions to disappear, but I also want my weight to disappear. I’m stuck in the middle of a purgatory hell that seems almost impossible to escape from. These new depths I have been reaching have really been opening up my eyes to all of the help that I need to receive. If anybody wants a friend through the rough patches of their eating disorders, I will try my best to help you. Help me?

Count your blessings and not the calories. Weigh your options and not your self worth. Starve your self hatred and not your body. Hate the disorder and not yourself.

Let’s Help Each Other

I’m trying so hard to kick my eating disorder’s ass, but recovery is harder than I would have ever thought. I have a meal plan but it’s almost impossible for me to follow. My diagnosis just switched from bulimia to anorexia, and I’m trying so hard to not let it define me but it seems to be the only thing I can think about. My life is based around my ED and I hate it. I want to break free I just need that extra push. Somebody want to be my partner and we’ll help push each other?